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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24358537">Ruby Remembrance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Digigal_transbian/pseuds/Digigal_transbian'>Digigal_transbian</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Steven Universe (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Homeworld Hierarchy (Steven Universe), Homeworld is Horrible, Post-Episode: s06e19 I Am My Monster, Pre-Episode: s06e20 The Future</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 09:42:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,190</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24358537</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Digigal_transbian/pseuds/Digigal_transbian</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruby has a heart to heart with Steven about Jasper after his meltdown.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ruby &amp; Steven Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>51</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Ruby Remembrance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn't uncommon that Ruby didn't know what to do.</p><p> </p><p>She was never good at making idle conversation, often drifting off into unintelligible mumbles halfway through a thought. Being made as a disposable cannon fodder soldier for Homeworld back in the day certainly didn't help matters there.</p><p> </p><p>After Steven's meltdown and admittance to shattering Jasper, she had no idea what to do. Steven shattering Jasper? If anyone else would have told her, she would have laughed in their face. One look at Jasper's face confirmed her worst fears. Steven actually did it, she recognizes the scars anywhere. When a gem would get badly cracked on Homeworld back in the day, if they were worth saving, sometimes the healing process would leave similar scars.</p><p> </p><p>The haunted look in Steven's eyes, coupled with the scar on Jasper's face, brought back a lot of memories for Ruby.</p><p> </p><p>The gems basically put Steven in time out so they could have time to work through everything that's happened, switching off in shifts from watching him.</p><p> </p><p>"Yo, Ruby!" Amethyst called from the stairs, snapping Ruby out of her thoughts, "Your turn on Steven Watch."</p><p> </p><p>Ruby nodded silently and started towards his room. She may not be the most intelligent of the gems, she may not be able to focus on multiple things at once, but maybe, just maybe, she could help him with some of his guilt.</p><p> </p><p>With newfound determination, Ruby went straight to Steven.</p><p> </p><p>☆◇☆</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Steven!" Ruby says to him.</p><p> </p><p>He looks tired, wearing a look of exhaustion on levels she's never seen him wear before. He only woke up about an hour prior, but he looks like he hasn't slept in months.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Ruby." Steven replies, sounding just as drained as he looks.</p><p> </p><p>"How ya feeling?"</p><p> </p><p>Steven makes a noise that sounds halfway between a verbal shrug and a tired grunt.</p><p> </p><p>"That bad, huh?"</p><p> </p><p>Steve nods.</p><p> </p><p>"Jasper?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yeah," Steven's face drops into a sad frown as he nods again, "I feel like such a bad person because of it."</p><p> </p><p>"Do you think I'm a bad gem?" Ruby asks, having mastered the art of subtlety.</p><p> </p><p>"Wh-h-what? Of course not! You've always done your best and I can't blame you for it." Steven sputters out.</p><p> </p><p>"Not because of that," Ruby brushes off, "Steven, I've shattered gems before. Do you think that makes me a bad gem?"</p><p> </p><p>"You have?"</p><p> </p><p>"Steven, all the Crystal Gems have. Before Sapphire and I became Garnet, my squad of Rubies had a body count that still is higher than Pearl's." Ruby replies, looking slightly smug at the fact, "You know you're not alone in that, right? If it makes you feel any better, you have the lowest body count for a Crystal Gem."</p><p> </p><p>"Th-that's different! When I shattered Jasper, I felt so disgustingly good while doing it, there were no orders to do it, I just did it and it felt good."</p><p> </p><p>"Steven," Ruby starts, the gem in her palm glowing until a small green shard appears out of it, "The missions that Homeworld would give rarely ever specified that a target had to be shattered. Sometimes, if they were too annoying, we shattered them just because it was more satisfying that way."</p><p> </p><p>"Wh-why do you have that? Where did you get it?" Steven's eyes widen at the lime green shard in Ruby's hand.</p><p> </p><p>"This was my first shatter, a Peridot. She was making and soliciting weapons to an underground market for some rebellion that was happening in Facet 9. An old tradition among Ruby squads was always to keep a shard from any shattering you cause as a trophy."</p><p> </p><p>The Peridot shard in her hand retreats back into her gem before a large, jagged black shard appears in her hand.</p><p> </p><p>"Wh-who was that one?" Steven asks, disturbed by remains of a soldier.</p><p> </p><p>"Onyx Facet-6QG Cut-9WD." Ruby recites as if the mission was yesterday, "One of White Diamond's old guards. Onyx guards were the highest ranking soldiers on Homeworld, reserved exclusively for White Diamond's use. Ask Nanafua's guards, they should still have the rest of her. We split her into three chunks and told Blue Diamond that most of her gem was lost."</p><p> </p><p>Ruby looks out the window wistfully as she remembers the good times she had with her old squad.</p><p> </p><p>"It was that very mission that got us assigned to guard Sapphire, actually."</p><p> </p><p>"Wait, really?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yep, Blue Diamond put out a capture-or-shatter order for the Onyx, and my squad was able to pull it off. She was impressed with our work and easily promoted us to guard Sapphire. They don't let just any Ruby guard a Sapphire, you know."</p><p> </p><p>"But, you didn't enjoy it, did you?"</p><p> </p><p>"Of course I did," Ruby laughs, "It was the way things were. Wasn't until after I met Rose that I felt bad about any of it. These shards stopped being trophies and became reminders of the awful things that are so easy to do. I felt so awful about the gems I'd shattered after I met Rose, I didn't know what to do with myself."</p><p> </p><p>"Every time I shattered a gem, there was always this rush. It was so exciting, so satisfying, I loved how powerful I felt doing it, I felt like I could do anything. There was one battle that left my squad and I covered in what looked like rainbow glitter, all of it gem dust." Ruby remarks before her voice turns serious, "So tell me Steven, be honest. Am I a bad gem?"</p><p> </p><p>Steven pauses. While true that Ruby herself has been nothing but kind to Steven, she has done some terrible things.</p><p> </p><p>"I think," He says, carefully mulling over his next words, "That you've done some bad things, but you're not a bad gem."</p><p> </p><p>"Can't the same be said for you?" Ruby asks, looking directly in his eyes.</p><p> </p><p>Steven freezes. Why can't the same be said of him? He shattered Jasper, he enjoyed how he felt doing it, but does that mean he's a bad person? He doesn't think Ruby is a bad gem and she's holding proof that she's shattered a few gems in the past at least.</p><p> </p><p>"You feel bad about what you did to Jasper," Ruby says with a soft voice, the black shard in her hand glinting in the light, "And I think that proves that, despite doing a couple bad things, you're still a good person."</p><p> </p><p>Ruby places the shard down on the nightstand to Steven's left before hopping onto the bed and giving Steven a hug. Steven shakily grips back, silent tears flowing down his face.</p><p> </p><p>"So, now that that emotionally exhausting conversation has happened," Ruby starts, "Wanna watch TV?"</p><p> </p><p>☆◇☆</p><p> </p><p>When Sapphire came up to check on the two, she saw Ruby sitting in bed with Steven to her right, watching a game show she didn't quite recognize, black shard on the table to Ruby's left.</p><p> </p><p>"Hey, Sapphire!" Ruby happily calls, "Wanna watch 'Whose Line Is It Anyways' with Steven and I?"</p><p> </p><p>"Sure." Sapphire smiles as she floats onto the bed to Steven's right. </p><p> </p><p>As the two gems sit with him, watching the old game show, Steven's heart swells.</p><p> </p><p>He sure loves his family.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Headcanon that Ruby has had that conversation several times as Garnet to multiple Crystal Gems when they first shattered gems and felt bad about it.</p><p>Also headcanon that Ruby likes game shows whenever things are emotionally too exhausting.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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